New Year’s Resolutions (NYRs)

Every year, millions of well-intentioned people make New Year’s resolutions, but less than 5% of us stick to them. A New Year Resolutions is really just a positive habit (like exercising or early rising) you want to incorporate into your life, or a negative habit like smoking or eating fast food) you want to get rid of. You don’t need a statistic to tell you that, when it comes to New Year Resolutions, now people have already given up and thrown in the towel before January has even come to a close.

Maybe you’ve seen this phenomenon in real-time of people dealing with their New Year Resolutions. If you’ve ever gone to the gym the first week of January, you know how crowded it is. But as few days passes that crowd evaporates…They are not armed with a proven strategy to stick with their new habits, the majority continue to fail.

But do you all know why is it so difficult to implement and sustain the habits we need to be happy, healthy, and successful?

Because we are Addicted to the old and change is painful.

Yes, we are, at some level, addicted to our habits. Whether psychologically or physically, once a habit has been reinforced through enough repetition, it can be very difficult to change, That is if you don’t have an effective, proven strategy.

One of the primary reasons most people fail to create and sustain new habits is because they don’t know what to expect, and they don’t have a winning strategy.

So now you will like to know how long does it really take to form a new habit?

Depending on the motivational article you read or which expert you listen to, you’ll hear compelling evidence that it takes anywhere from a single hypnosis session, 21 days, or even up to three months to incorporate a new habit into your life – or get rid of an old one.

In the book morning miracle it is mentioned about three phases of habit forming:

[Days 1-10] Phase One: Unbearable

The first ten days of implementing any new habit or your New Year’s Resolutions, or ridding yourself of any old habit, can feel almost unbearable.

The first few days can be easy, and even exciting – because something new-as soon as the newness wears off, reality sets in You hate it. It’s painful. It’s not fun anymore.

Every fiber of your being tends to resist and reject the change. Your mind rejects it and you think: I hate this. Your body resists it and tells you don’t like how this feels.

If your new habit is waking up early (which might be a useful one to get started on, now), during the first ten days your experience might be something like this: The alarm clock sounding Oh God, it’s morning already! I don’t want to get up. I’m so tired I need more sleep. Okay, just ten more minutes. You hit snooze button to sleep more.

The problem for most people is that they don’t realize the this seemingly unbearable first ten days is only ‘temporary Instead, they think it’s the way the new habit feels, and will always feel, telling themselves: If the new habit is this painful, forget it – it’s not worth it.

Do you remember how many times you failed here? You just stop continuing the good habit because it was painful for you.

As a result, 95% of our society – the mediocre majority – fail, time and time again, to start exercise routines, quit smoking, improve their diets, stick to a budget, or any other habit that would improve their quality of life.

Here’s where you have an advantage over the other 95%, Sec, when you are prepared for these first ten days, when you know that it is the price you pay for success, that the first ten days will be challenging but they’re also temporary, you can beat the odds and succeed! If the benefits are great enough, we can do anything for ten days, right?

So, the first ten days of implementing any new habit aren’t a picnic. You’ll defy it. You might even hate it at times. But you do it. Especially considering, it only gets easier from here, and the reward is, oh – just the ability to create everything you want for your life.

Days 11-20] Phase Two: Uncomfortable

Affer you get through the first ten days – the most difficult ten days – you begin the second ten-day phase, which is consider easier. You will be getting used to your new habit. You will also have developed some confidence and positive associations to the benefits of your habit. While days 11-20 are not unbearable, they are still uncomfortable and will require discipline and commitment on your part.

At this stage it will still be tempting to fall back to your old behaviours. Referencing the example of waking up early as your new habit, it will still be easier to sleep in because you’ve done it for so long. Stay committed. You’ve already gone from unbearable to uncomfortable, and you’re about to find out what it feels like to be UNSTOPPABLE.

[Days 21-30] Phase Three: Unstoppable

 When you enter the final ten days – the home stretch – the few people that make it this far almost always make a detrimental mistake: adhering to the popular advice from the many experts who claim it only takes 21 days to form a new habit. Those experts are partly correct. It does take 21 days – the first two phases – to form a new habit. But the third ten-day phase is crucial to sustaining your new habit, long term. The final ten days is where you positively reinforce and associate pleasure with your new habit. You’ve been primarily associated pain and discomfort with it during the first 20 days. Instead of hating and resisting your new habit, you start yourself for making it this far.

Your new habit becomes part of your identity. It transcends the space between something you’re trying and who you’re becoming. You start to see yourself as someone who lives the habit Back to our example of waking up early.

You go from having an identity that says I am not a ‘morning person‘ to I am a morning person!

Instead of dreading your alarm clock in the morning, now when the alarm goes off you are excited to wake up and get going because you’ve done it for over 20 days in a row. You’re starting to see and feel the benefits.

End Note

Too many people get overly confident, pat themselves on the back, and think: I’ve done it for 20 days so I’m just going to take a few days off. The problem is that those first twenty days are the most challenging part of the process. Taking a few days off before you’ve invested the necessary time into positively reinforcing the habit makes it difficult to get back on. It’s days 21-30 where you really start enjoying the habit, which is what will make you continue it in the future.

Hope you continue in 2021 with all those New Year Resolutions you have made. Good luck!

Also read, Say “No”

One life. Live Boundless