How to strengthen the father-daughter bond

In our Indian society, generally, the bread-winning father doesn’t have an emotional connection with family. I always wished that I had cool relations with my father, but it’s always been a very formal one. Discussing it with my friends I found most of us are too scared to face them without any reason. Trying every possible way to avoid them.  We are just so feared by them because we never found them present in our days when we could have built the connection. The father-daughter bond.

Now the societal rules have evolved in terms of parenting, where both the parents actively participate but sadly this wasn’t the case I was brought up in. The main reason for this ice could be the gender biases prevalent in our culture that a girl child cannot match up to his father’s expectations because at some point in time they have to get married and move to a new household. Thus they never consider their girl child capable enough to share or indulge them in any important decisions, ailing to build a strong father-daughter bond.

Since it’s never too late to fix what has been done before, here are some tips mentioned which would strengthen the bond of father and their daughters:

• Don’t just dictate:

As parents, it is important to set rules for their kids, but sometimes less authorization also doesn’t create any harm. There should always be some rule of negotiation. You can’t expect your child to be your exact replica, doing all the stuff you like. It’s normal for adolescent girls to test the boundaries of their independence, Dr. Bubrick notes. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t want, and need, your guidance, too.”

• Support and encouragement:

 Fathers lack behind in praising their daughters often. Don’t be that guy, dads, your daughter needs your positive feedback especially during their teens. Let your daughter know you’re proud of her — and not just by telling her she’s beautiful, though that’s important, too.

Praising accomplishments is great, but it’s just as important to praise hard work, and the bravery it takes to try, and stick with, new things — especially ones she isn’t instantly good at it and trying to improve. Always remember to have a father-daughter bond.

Girls admire their fathers and think o them like their superheroes, they believe their father can never say or do anything wrong. Also, they make their judgments on how a man should behave in any relationship, but they’re also alert to how you talk about women. You may be respectful and encouraging when talking to your wife and daughter, and other women close to you, but if you’re in the habit of talking about other women in a disrespectful, or sexist way, she’s hearing that, too. If you make comments on women’s bodies or use “girl” as a synonym for weakness — “He throws like a girl” — she may worry thinking they are not strong enough to be noticed by you.

Taking care to use language that empowers women (and avoiding the kind that puts them down) is a powerful way to let your daughter know that you think girls are just as smart, cool, and capable as boys — and that you think she’s great just as she is. As a bonus, it also sets a standard for how she should expect other men in her life — from their husbands to bosses — to behave well.

• Sometimes let her lead:

 When you let her take the lead, she develops confidence and knows that you value their interests and they can then freely communicate about her interests. Showing an interest in the things she likes doesn’t have to be complicated — it can be as simple as listening to her favorite music together, having a show you watch with her, or going for a bike ride together. What’s important is that by letting her take the lead, and finding a space where you can both enjoy yourselves.

• Pour out your affection without any hesitation:

When their daughters are young, dads’ bedtime snuggles or big hugs are common, but when there is the onset of Puberty that snuggles and big hugs can be awkward and confusing, but that is normal. When children grow up they become mature about what is happening in and around them. Important is you should not withdraw your affection. When hugs suddenly turn into pats on the back, they know they are still loved the same as when they were kids.

Being a dad is hard work but it’s worth it. Letting your daughter know how important she is to you can be a huge source of self-worth for her at a time when her identity may feel fragile. And it’s something she will carry with her the rest of her life. Let your daughter know that even when you don’t see eye to eye and agree with all her decisions, that you love her still and you’ll always love her, every moment for the rest of her life no matter what. Build a strong father-daughter bond.

Also read, Generation Gap

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