Say “No”

Are you someone who is a Sucker of saying Yes, even you want it to be No sometimes? We often think about why we need to please everyone all the time. Why we are so scared that our relations with others may get spoiled if we say No. Feeling of self-doubt keeps popping in. Learn how to say NO.

Well, it is evident why we face a problem in saying No. From childhood, we are taught that saying No is bad manners, rude, and you will be considered selfish. This learning is set up in our minds because that was fed then, as our character building.

But when we grow it becomes difficult for us to deviate from what we were taught at our early ages. If we learn to say NO, it will be considered we don’t agree with what others say, or maybe called a rebel. But sadly some of us still hold on to our childhood beliefs and continue being in the race of saying YES just to not get abandoned.

So the question still remains the same – is it important for you to please everyone you know; to the point, that you yourself feel resentful and stressed because of it.

If you are struggling in saying NO when needed this is definitely for you,

Your NO doesn’t define your wholesome character; let people judge you to their capacity.

People have made it a topic that if you say no then you are disobedient, rude, ungrateful selfish, unkind, lazy, and whatnot. These beliefs have made it difficult for a person to say No.

It is important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. Don’t make yourself too easily available for people to take control of your time. Instead, project yourself strong that they don’t consider you an easy target. Show them you value your time and be firm on turning down as many requests as possible because at that point in time that is not on your priority list.

Value yourself:

Are you one of those for whom “what others think of them matter the most”. Then your opinion about yourself is quite low and you have happily dedicated your life to others who also don’t value you since you are an easy target for them to get their work done.

Keep your opinion on the top of your priority list. If you depend on others for approval you will never feel happy from within.

You are unique, valuable, and important. No one else in this world can offer what you can.

Is It Really Worth It?

Yes to someone should be on the basis that is it valued by the other person. It is common that after we commit to someone we try and find out an excuse to get out of that situation. When you committed to the other person you had genuine work for yourself too. Now you are thinking of a good excuse to say No and going to lie.

Wouldn’t it have been much easier to say No in the first place itself? This stress and anguishes could have been avoided. Being straightforward is much easier sometimes.

I remember this one time that I said yes to something and then later felt so bad about it that I ended up lying my way out of it. I still feel bad that I lied.

While interning for a lab my P.I. called me one day and asked if I could work the following Saturday. As usual, I said out a polite “Yes, of course, that’s no problem at all.” I actually had plans with my family, which I was really looking forward to.

Later, I found myself feeling absolutely terrible and shedding tears about having said yes and I wished that I had just had the guts to say no in the beginning itself than going to work on the day which I highly anticipated. It brings in you a feeling of hatred for the person. Saying “ no” would have been much easier to avoid such negative emotions which are harming you.

Looking back, I realize that it really isn’t worth it to say yes when you don’t want to. I have a right to say no and shouldn’t be afraid of letting other people down, at the cost of my own happiness.

How to say “No” – Some Tips

Say a direct No when you know you cannot.

Don’t apologize and give reason for why you said No.

Don’t lie. Lying will most likely lead to guilt, this is what you are trying to avoid feeling.

It is better to say “No” than regretting and being resentful about it later.

Practice saying No. Imagine a scenario and then practice saying No either by yourself or with a friend. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.

Avoid prolonging the situation by saying “you will see later”, or” I’ll think about it”. This will only create stress for you.

Our self-worth does not depend on how much we do for other people. Learning how to say no when actually needed is one of the best things one can do for themselves. It will remove your fear of rejection and make your decision and your life in your control.

You will not feel trapped by anyone or guilty about it. Instead, you’ll feel empowered and free.

If you want the feeling of freedom and empowerment, then take control, challenge yourself, and learn to say No as people who would actually abandon you by mere No, were actually not meant to be part of your healthy life.

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