Anger Management

Why you need Anger Management?

Anger is a  normal emotion, which is only normal until it turns destructive. When it becomes severe it causes only problems, at your workplace, in your personal life thus deteriorating your quality of life. And it can make you feel as you are living under the mercy of this strong and unpredictable emotion of yours because you have lost a sense to manage this emotion of Anger.

Anger comes as a response to frustrating or threatening experiences caused by others. It can also be caused due to sadness, loneliness, or fear.  Sometimes this emotion of anger arises due to no reason. Suppressing and storing up anger can also have a damaging and lasting impact so it is normal to take this emotion out, but in a conducting way so nobody gets harmed.

I came across an interesting story on how anger can cause damaging effects forever that it can’t be sealed by even your sorry. There was a boy named Dev. He had a very bad temper. He used to fight and used to lose his temper on small issues. His father used to get complaints from the parents and his friends in school regarding his bad temper. His father then came through with an idea of handing Dev bags of nails. He said  Dev, hold this bag and you will have to hammer a nail into the fence every time you get angry or lose your temper.

On the first day after getting the bag from his father, Dev hammered 40 nails on the fence. Hammering nails was a tough task and gradually, Dev started controlling his anger. By day 4 and 5, he hammered only 20 nails and soon the number of nails started decreasing.

Dev discovered that hammering the nails into the fence was a tough task and controlling anger was easier as compared to it. When Dev approached his father and told him that he can control his anger now and will not behave in such a way, Dev father asked him to take out all those nails he hammered in the fence. Every day he kept his anger under control. Dev started taking out the nails from the fence.  Dev took out all the nails from the fence and told his father.  Dev’s father led him to the fence and told him to look at the fence, the nails you took out have created holes that cannot be sealed. Thus it is better to control your anger so that you do not do something which has its marks throughout your life because damages once done cannot be repaired.

So, here are some ways to manage your anger to save yourself from those damages:

Don’t speak anything in heat of the moment: When we get angry we speak what comes into our minds, we do not realize the after-effects of our words. So in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take time to think your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

Take out your anger but in an assertive way. Mention what caused you discomfort, why you were hurt but do not be aggressive. This makes the other person realize their mistakes and situations can be cooled down easily and that is how Anger Management helps.

Indulge in some kind of physical activity: Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause you to become angry. When you feel your anger is escalating, go for a walk or run or enjoy your favorite outdoor game, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

Don’t play the blame game: Avoid criticizing or placing blame, which might only increase tension.  Use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you always come late, it gets really late in all the shows”. Instead of You mostly come late and we miss thirty minutes of the movie show every time we make plans for the movie.

Talk to someone you trust: As it is believed that when you share something with ones you love and trust, any battle becomes easy. It is possible that they may not provide you with solutions all the time, all you need is a listener to take out it all from you. Simply venting your anger at someone will only fuel your temper and reinforce your anger problem thus Anger Management is needed.

 Look for solutions: Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.  Sometimes the messy room makes you so annoyed about what could be done, ask your family members to help.  Is your partner late for dinner every night?  What could be done, Schedule meals later in the evening, or agree to eat on your own a few times a week? Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

Take a break:  Give yourself short breaks during times of the day when you feel stressed and feel angry. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

 Light humor is always a savior: Little humor can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

 Breathe in breathe out: When your temper escalates, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises; imagine something that makes you calm.  “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write something, or do a few yoga poses, whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

 Many people get angry to comply with their demands. Yelling at someone to get your work done maybe the thing for a short period, but the long-term consequences may be very harmful. Your anger can cause lasting damage to your relationships. You will be left all alone if you lack skills in Anger Management.

If you are using anger as your tool, you can take up another approach of getting your things done as seeking help in an assertive manner, putting down your aggressiveness. Consult a doctor when you feel it is uncontrollable.

Also read, Stuck in past, worrying about future.

For every minute you remain angry, you give sixty seconds of your peace of mind. – Ralph Waldo

One life. Live Boundless.